IT’S SEASON FOUR, EVERYONE! This year we are doing quarterly themes – and I’m so excited to bring you the theme for the first quarter: THE ENNEAGRAM. I basically do not shut up about it any time it’s brought up, so dedicating such a big portion of the year to this is VERY on brand. Today’s episode is with the Ashton Whitmoyer-Ober and we are talking all about mothering through the enneagram – we touch on how the different types mother, strengths and weaknesses to take note of, and how you can really lean into your type as a mom!
Mothering Through The Enneagram with Karomy Kimbel
Karomy Kimbel is a working mother of 2 who learned about the enneagram 4 years ago and finally decided 2 years ago to become a Certified Enneagram Coach. She runs the Instagram account, @enneagramhive and loves seeing the impact the enneagram can have on relationships both personally & professionally.
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- What does “hustle like a mother” mean to you?
- I think just that it’s juggling your passions. Yeah. And not, um, in learning how to juggle that, whether that be your kids or your work or side hustles. You don’t have to choose between one. You can juggle it all.
- How did you even get started with the Enneagram Hive and becoming an Enneagram coach?
- The Enneagram put context and language to something that I had been feeling, but, you know, wasn’t really sure why that was. And so I just started learning more about it. I decided to become an Enneagram coach so that, whether it be businesses or families, I could actually try to help make an impact.
- Do you do one-on-one coaching or group coaching, or what do you do with your Enneagram coaching certification?
- Primarily I’ve done coaching within teams of a business. I’ve done some one-on-one coaching, but I really enjoyed the group settings where it’s like really seeing the conflict and communication styles of different people and like seeing that light bulb moment of their life.
- Let’s jump into Enneagram and mothering and what that kind of looks like. So overall, I would love for you to kind of give your general overview of what [mothering] looks like with the Enneagram.
- A lot of times mothering with a type one, there’s a lot of structure and consistency, which is great. They tend to have high expectations and, and really wanna keep a schedule. If you’re a type one mom, just realize that there’s more than one right way.
- Their strengths tend to be empathy, which probably wouldn’t surprise you. And then hospitality. Two moms are going to be the ones that have the snacks ready to go for their kids, but probably all the other kids that are maybe on the team with them. Their own core fear is it’s not okay to have your own needs. So just being aware of that, you know, as that could end up getting passed down to your child. Make sure that you know your needs are important and you don’t have to table those just to take care of everyone.
- Threes are very self-confident and energized and motivated. A projection, you know, [that] they can put on their kids through parenting is [that] it’s not okay to fail. [One suggestion for] parenting as a type three is don’t multitask, which threes are obviously great at and do a lot as multitaskers, but [learning to] really be present with your kids.
- The four parenting style, or their strength, is [that] they’re very creative and expressive. They’re wanting to make sure that they are unique and so they do a lot of nature exploration and dancing and painting, things like that. Something that might trigger them honestly, and they’re within their parenting is if they’re forced to be like everyone else.
- They tend to bring strengths like wisdom and they’re very analytical and they’re pretty independent. If they have to be too social or something like that, that can cause a stress trigger for them. Overall they definitely tend to lead more with just knowledge.
- [They tend to be] prepared and very loyal. They can tend to get the label like a helicopter mom or dad, especially depending if they’re phobic or counterphobic. They think five steps in advance. They just wanna have a plan. Something that can trigger them pretty easily is like a sudden change or new plans or like a newer unknown type situation.
- Our sevens in parenting are obviously very enthusiastic and spontaneous and positive and all the upbeat things. They are similar to fours, they like exploring, camping, hiking, [and] trying new foods. I think these children are definitely more exposed to new countries and trips and things like that way more than other types. They definitely have FOMO (fear of missing out) if they’re not getting outta the house enough. They thrive around other people.
- They’re very supportive and protective and courageous and just natural leaders of the household a lot of times. They’re definitely the mama or daddy bear that are very protective and they’re probably the ones you’ll hear saying “it’s my way or the highway.” What they could project onto their children if they’re not too cautious of it is that it’s not okay to be vulnerable. Some things that can trigger them is if the kids ignore their guidelines.
- Their parenting strength would probably be their unconditional love and acceptance and they’re so easygoing. They’re the mediator, and if they’ve got multiple kids, they probably really struggle, as far as just trying to always keep the peace between them all. What can make them feel triggered is conflict within the home. So feeling pressure to make a decision. [Some encouragement for nines] is don’t zone out just because there’s conflict, and don’t run from it. Try to lean into it as uncomfortable as it is.
- So are there any last words you wanna give our listeners when it comes to the Enneagram and motherhood?
- If you are listening and you’re a mom and you know your type, understand your core fears don’t have to be projected onto [your kids]. [It’s important to] recognize when you kind of start to act like that, they say with the Enneagram, if you can just use it as a tool, you know, like a rumble strip going down the road, if you start to veer off path and that kind of notifies you if you know those stress triggers and you start to act like that and can take that and then adjust. That’s the key.
- Understanding where you’re at, giving yourself grace, because motherhood alone is really hard. Just knowing again, kind of what your stress triggers are.
- Where can we find you on the internet? Where can we hang out with you and what are some ways my listeners can get in touch with you?
- Instagram: @enneagramhive
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/enneagramhive