Reclaiming Your Identity As A Mother + Normalizing The Struggle with Gervase Kolmos – PODCAST EPISODE 11

This action-packed episode strips away all the notions you have about being a mother and helps you with Reclaiming Your Identity As A Mother within the social constructs of motherhood. We talk about the REAL parts of being a working mom and how you can normalize the struggle so you can tackle it head on. You can find Gervase at Gervasekolmos.com and on instagram @gervasekolmos.

Reclaiming Your Identity As A Mother + Normalizing The Struggle with Gervase Kolmos

Gervase Kolmos is seriously a literal LIGHT. I had the actual best time talking with her – and I don’t doubt that this will not be the last time I have her on the show. There was just something so raw and honest about her that I was instantly drawn to and resonated with. Gervase has spoken at multiple conferences held by Center for Women, RebelleCon, Charleston Moms Blog – PLUS: she has been featured on Lowcountry Live and in Skirt! magazine. In 2017, she was voted “Woman to Watch” as part of the Center for Women’s Charleston Most Influential Women contest. She’s a literal momBOSS.

LISTEN HERE:

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BULLET POINTS FROM THIS EPISODE:

**there is some slight language in this episode**

• “Hustle Like A Mother” is really like a permission slip after each baby – and it has looked different every time.
  • The first was different than my third – maybe hustling now means more time with the baby vs more time working and having a nanny.
  • It’s fluid day-to-day and changes with each baby.
  • It’s so important to “hustle” with expansion.
• Sometimes it’s really important to recognize that you are going to be a different person after having kids. You can’t prepare for the changes that are going to take place.
  • It’s SO important to allow yourself the opportunity to be someone else.
  • Reclaiming your identity as a mother isn’t a dirty phrase.
  • Gervase used to take the phrase “do-it-all” as a challenge and work so hard to make that happen – without taking her mental health into account.
• When it comes to work and success – you don’t have to be DOING things ALL OF THE TIME.
  • The things that are meant to be are going to work out for the best.
  • Sometimes the times that you put the least amount of stress and worry into something, the better they work out.
• Gervase struggled with postpartum depression and really realized that she needed to take care of herself mentally so she could pick up the pieces of her identity.
  • Moms tend to give up on themselves while raising babies because it can be so hard to do both.
  • It’s SO important that we as mothers are able to throw our excuses out the window so we CAN be the very best moms we can be.
  • We need to learn to listen to the little voices inside our heads that TELL us exactly how we need to do things.
    • There isn’t one right way to be a woman or a mother.
      • We are ALL just trying to figure it out together.
• The Champagne Society was developed because Gervase saw a need for women to be able to come together in community and build each other up in womanhood and motherhood.
  • This program aims to really truly help women remember JUST how important they are and that their needs are vital, too.
• Sometimes it’s hard for working moms to go through this because society wants you to not NEED to work.
  • For Gervase + I, working IS our self care. We LOVE working and it makes the time with our children so much sweeter.
  • That is OKAY and NORMAL.
  • You don’t NEED to put so much pressure on yourself.
• Entrepreneurs often go through this kind of cycle that happens every couple weeks/months:
  • Everything is SO GOOD I’M CRUSHING THIS!
  • Ok, things are slowing down and I hope they keep going okay.
  • Oh god – everything is going to crap.
  • I HATE MY JOB THIS IS THE WORST.
  • *rinse and repeat*
• COVID really exacerbated this cycle for Gervase and I and both of us really struggled during the shut down at first and didn’t realize just how vital a routine was for us.
  • Once we realized that, it was easier to manage those mood swings and make sure we were keeping ourselves on a schedule.
• Whatever motherhood looks like for you is good. It’s okay. It’s important. It’s REAL.

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